On Heaven

As an atheist religious thinker (it is not an oxymoron), heaven is something that is worth thinking about. These are some thoughts on the subject, and these are by no means my final ideas, but it is at least my present thoughts. I am aure that any reader can pick out some obvious flaws with my conception, and I have repeated myself some. Yet I feel it was worth putting my ideas down on paper and publishing them.


It is impossible to know (ignore the philosophical implications of the word ‘know’ for right now) what happens to us after we die. There is no proof positive method of determining what happens, if anything after we die. To borrow an example from Peter Kreeft, it is as if we are unborn children arguing about what life is like outside of the womb. Hoverer, since it is probable that we will be dead longer than we are alive, it is worth speculating about. I claim not to know or to reach and proof, or even move closer to what Heaven is like, but because I am a speculative budding religious thinker/philosopher it is an issue essential to the world religious tradition and it is of paramount importance in the spiritual thought of mankind.

I intend not to perform a comprehensive study of heaven and its counterpart hell here. My objective is to examine the Christian and Muslim ideas of the places and my own vision of what heaven should be, though I believe it doesn’t exit. For the former tradition, heaven is a place where God/Jesus, the Angels, and the Saints reside for all eternity. In Islam, it is a garden of paradise full of immense pleasures. Some Muslim Mystics (pardon the unintentional alliteration) believed that heaven was full of wine and virgins and revelry.

But first the Christian tradition. Christian heaven is something that is not necessarily clear however there are some characteristics that are unique to Christianity. In somewhat of a paradox, we learn most about heaven through examining hell. Hell is the eternal domicile of the damned, those who were blasphemers, and those who were not worthy of being in the realm of God. Well, if all those people go to hell then who goes to heaven? Remember, all dogs go to heaven (sorry I could not resist). Heaven is the realm of the faithful, the saints, the angels, and God. The principle Christian texts do not discuss heaven much, mainly because the focus is not on going to heaven; it is not going to hell. Hell’s magnitude of depravity is much worse than heaven’s level of perfection. So getting to heaven is not the focus, it is first don’t go to hell, and then live a life of perfection. Yet Christian heaven is very different from Muslim heaven. This is probably because it is a faux pas on my part to call it heaven. The correct English term is probably paradise. But in Christianity, is heaven paradise? The classic idea of paradise is a perfect world, but there is an underlying notion of excessive pleasure in paradise, whereas heaven is the realm of the lord. But if the lord is perfect, shouldn’t his kingdom also be the most desirable place in the world?

My first issue with the idea of Christian heaven is its boringness. I believe that Muslim paradise may be more interesting, but not necessarily more ideal. The fact that sins are permitted in heaven is exceedingly disturbing to me. If the realm is perfect, and vices are morally wrong, how can they be permitted in heaven? There is at last one ambiguity or contradiction here. So if the Christian ideal is to be benevolent to others, and especially the less fortunate, and to praise God, what is there to do but praise God if there are not any who are less fortunate? So is heaven just constant prayer? I would not assume that one sleeps in heaven, or has to eat in heaven, so if all I do in heaven is praise god, then maybe hell is the more favorable option (Huck Finn agrees).

I would now like to point out the obvious problems with heaven. It is clear to me that heaven may just be an idea, an idea of a better world on earth, but since so many have taken the idea literally it must be fundamentally explored. First, where is Heaven? I do not think it is in Detroit, but I may be wrong. Next, does one have a body in heaven? If so, which body is it? Is it our own body, and is it the last body we had? If we do indeed not have a body in heaven, then what do we exist as? If we have a body, do we sleep in heaven? Do we produce waste in heaven? I would be inclined to say no considering heaven is perfect. Is there sex in heaven (this question shall be addressed)? Next, can one converse with other souls in heaven, or is he doomed to solidarity? Is it just Homo sapiens who go to heaven, or do Homo erecti, Homo habiles, (I am trying to pluralize these but I am unsure even with my two and a half years plus of Latin schooling), Neanderthals, and those who are not human such as animals, insects, communists, and bacteria? Can one talk to God in heaven? Clearly he would be a popular guy, considering he is the creator.

With the literal questions out of the way, it is now time to begin the comparative section of this piece: Muslim paradise versus Christian heaven. To recapitulate, the former is a brilliant garden full of the bodily pleasures and the latter is the realms of God, the saints, the pious and the angels. The main difference is that the vices are explored to excess in Muslim paradise. This is an extremely striking point of Muslim heaven which is disturbing to some modern scholars.

I would first like to point out the thought of sex in heaven. It appears to me that some sort of human before Homo sapiens had evolved enough that procreation could no longer be done by instinct, so somehow sex became an enjoyable activity due to the high concentration of nerves specific areas of the body. So the objective was completed; it is unlikely any time soon that humans will not be creating enough new lives to sustain the species. But if there is no need, or I would argue no possibility for someone to give birth in heaven. So why would sex be performed in heaven? It is possible that this was a fantasy that would be used to propel the religion, but Islam was probably powerful enough with a heaven void of wine and virgins to sell itself without the idea of paradise. If we are to go religion shopping it appears that the Muslim idea of the afterlife is the most favorable (actually I would contest that due to the lack of intellectual productivity but to most sixteen year-old males), but I doubt that a majority of the people who have converted to Islam in the past fourteen centuries is due to the afterlife, but it would probably not discourage people.

I believe that the idea of writing about this piece was inspired by Peter Kreeft in his lecture on Faith and Reason (I am unsure how to punctuate that exactly so I have underlined it). Kreeft discussed the idea of sex in heaven, and the thought disturbed me greatly due to the biological paradox I have hitherto stated. A friend of mine showed me an essay of a university student to the question of chemistry in hell which shows that there are still inquiries as to the nature of heaven and hell.

Next to address the problem of wine in heaven. First of all, wine is not permitted under Islamic law. However, Rumi, Hafiz and countless other Muslim poets, mystics, etc. have been quite enamored with alcohol. Note that I am extremely against any drug use of any kind, and I have zero tolerance, so if I am being overly biased here this is a source. But the idea of wine in heaven is problematic for a few reasons. One of the reasons is the nature of wine. Wine is used to remove one from reality (if you will) and transport them to a place where life is, for a short time, favorable to the present life. However, if paradise is a perfect realm, why would one need wine. If I can lounge in the gardens of Eden, why would I need wine? This suggest to me that paradise is not perfect. Granted, there are different levels of paradise, and the saints and martyrs occupy the greatest level, shouldn’t heaven at least be good enough that one would not desire to escape from them?

Another extreme issue with this is the idea that wine is not allowed under Islam! How can there be something legal in heaven that is illegal on Earth? The nature of wine, as I have said, is to remove one from the present life, and elevate one to a state that is more desirable. Well how can one want to get drunk in paradise? It appears that if paradise were the ultimate perfect place one would not want to drink alcohol for it removes one from the perfection of heaven. It can be argued that wine only makes life better, and increases the perfection of heaven, but then it gets messy having to deal with different levels of perfection, and if the garden of paradise is perfect how could it get any better? So, on its own I reject the idea of wine in any sort of paradise.

To recapitulate, I dislike the Christian idea of heaven because it is boring and there is an obsession with prayer and I dislike Muslim heaven because it is a place where the vices are exploited. Now for my own idea of heaven; be cognizant that I view Harvard University as the kingdom of heaven on earth. I believe that if God does indeed exist, heaven should be a place where all the humans who have died go. However, I would have two parts of heaven. The first is where everyone goes directly after they die. It is a place where they have someone/something help them reflect on their lives, and see where they did well and where they did poorly. Until they understand what they did right and what they did wrong, and feel genuine remorse for anything wrong they did, be it a massacre of millions of people, or if they accidentally closed the elevator on someone who was close enough but they did not see them, anything wrong they did they see and feel remorse for (I do not know if I am allowed to end a sentence with for, but regardless I have decided to). After that people gain admittance to heaven; yes every single person. Everyone from an innocent child who died ten minutes after he was born, to Adolf Hitler is allowed to go to heaven, when they realise all the bad acts they committed on earth. In heaven, everyone looks the same, but people know who is who. There is no sex in heaven, no drugs, no sleep, and none of the human functions that are committed on earth. The human imperfection (I do not believe in original sin, but it is an intriguing idea) is nonexistent in heaven, and one lives eternally with the ability to meet whoever one wants, with an infinite ability to learn. There are not any mysteries in heaven, for God is all-knowing, and in his kingdom there are no mysteries. Heaven is a paradise of equality and it is the realm of God.

A piece that reminded me of my idea of heaven, and most likely influenced my idea of heaven, if not just reinforced it was Kurt Vonnegut’s God Bless you Dr. Kevorkian. It was essentially Vonnegut’s idea of heaven, and he agreed that all people go to heaven. It was quite the spectacular work, even thought it numbered about seventy-five pages. If one is to read it, they will see some commonalities between Vonnegut and me.

Allow me to restate that this is my idea of Heaven, assuming that god exists and that it exists. It is by no means my final thoughts on it, but for right now it is what I think I believe heaven is. I am sure that if I were to write this tomorrow my thoughts would be slightly different, and I accept flaws. For right now it is what I believe, and it shall change, but these are my sentiments on heaven.